For the past 12 months, I have been working toward my Masters degree, and I cannot tell you how many days I have questioned my ability, or lack there of, to get through it. But, somehow, I keep trekking along. Many days I want to throw in the towel, but, I, somehow, muster the strength to keep pushing forward.
Juggling school, work, kids, and a home is no easy feat. In fact, when I let people know what I have been up to, they give me that look of pity. "Wait...you have 3 kids, 2 jobs, and you are going to school? Wow...you are crazy." Most of the time, I nod my head in agreeance. I am crazy. What in the heck was I thinking?
The truth is,
I set a goal in my head and I can't let it go.
Years ago, I was a single girl, living with roommates, and enjoying life. I was going to college, but not taking it too seriously.
But, life has a way of slapping you in the face.
I loved to dance (still do), so when my friend invited me to her birthday party where there was plenty of dancing...I was there.
Wow...that day feels like yesterday.
(It was 11 years ago...WOW!)
I walked in that birthday party and there he was.
He was so handsome.
Light brown skin, green eyes, athletic build...
he was exactly my type.
At the time, I was in a relationship...bummer.
But, as soon as I saw him, I knew there was something special about him.
That night, we spent talking about our lives, our future plans, and dancing and partying like young 20 year olds.
But, something in my heart said...don't forget this guy.
He must have felt the same, because, at the end of the night, he handed me a note. The note read "You're cute" with a phone number to call him.
I was disappointed, because I knew I was in a relationship. But, I just had to get to know this guy.
Months down the road, my relationship had ended and I was complaining to a friend that I did not know what to do as a single girl. I had always been in relationships, so what was a single girl to do?
I set a goal in my head and I can't let it go.
Years ago, I was a single girl, living with roommates, and enjoying life. I was going to college, but not taking it too seriously.
But, life has a way of slapping you in the face.
I loved to dance (still do), so when my friend invited me to her birthday party where there was plenty of dancing...I was there.
Wow...that day feels like yesterday.
(It was 11 years ago...WOW!)
I walked in that birthday party and there he was.
He was so handsome.
Light brown skin, green eyes, athletic build...
he was exactly my type.
At the time, I was in a relationship...bummer.
But, as soon as I saw him, I knew there was something special about him.
That night, we spent talking about our lives, our future plans, and dancing and partying like young 20 year olds.
But, something in my heart said...don't forget this guy.
He must have felt the same, because, at the end of the night, he handed me a note. The note read "You're cute" with a phone number to call him.
I was disappointed, because I knew I was in a relationship. But, I just had to get to know this guy.
Months down the road, my relationship had ended and I was complaining to a friend that I did not know what to do as a single girl. I had always been in relationships, so what was a single girl to do?
She told me that I needed to go on a date. I was hesitant as I had just got out of a relationship. I had no desire to be committed to anyone. Until, she mentioned who I should go on a date with. "Remember that guy from my birthday party? The one with the green eyes? Why don't you see what he's up to?"
This was almost 3 months later.
I was certain he had probably forgotten about me.
My friend suggested that she would call his friend up to see if he was available.
Well, to my surprise, he remembered me. A few hours later, I was getting a call...and it was him! I was so nervous and excited. We talked for a little while on the phone, and, then, he asked if I had plans that night. We, agreed, that he would come pick me up and we would do dinner and a movie.
It was, absolutely, the best last first date I ever had! We had so much in common! It was so comfortable. I felt like we had known each other for years.
If you haven't guessed it already, that man I met at the friend's birthday party became my husband.
I, completely, fell head over heels in love.
I went from being the fun girl, who had no desire to be married, to a bride and mother within a matter of a couple years.
It's amazing how your plans may be different than God's plans. But, God's plans are always better.
During that time of engagement, marriage, and being a new mom, I continued to pursue finishing school.
It was taking me longer than I had planned, and this was frustrating for me.
When I got pregnant with my first son, I had to drop out of school. I was put on bed rest, because of early labor problems.
After he turned one, I went back to school. I was finishing up my junior year, when I became pregnant with my second son. I became severely ill during that pregnancy, and was hospitalized. Again, I had to drop from school.
I remember, during this time, being so ashamed of myself. I felt like I had failed.
Here I am pushing 30.
a husband...2 kids.
Still no career.
I'm a failure.
I remember one day crying to God. I was so embarrassed. I was working as a server with 2 kids. To me, this was shameful. I was not, at all, where I thought I would be in my life.
I decided to go back to school.
I was heading towards the end of my senior year.
I was, finally, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I made the Dean's list.
I was chosen as the Who's Who of American College Students.
I was nominated in my department as a student, who had overcome great odds to graduate, and they were going to honor me at graduation.
Finally, things were coming together.
Around this time, I became pregnant again.
Honestly, I was upset.
I was about to graduate in a couple of months.
I did not want this holding me back.
That's when God really spoke to my heart.
He showed me how this was all His plan. I was, exactly, where He wanted me to be.
God knew how important staying at home with my kids would be.
By working a part time job, I was able to spend time with my little ones that I will never be able to get back.
I experienced their first steps, their first words, their first days at school. What an amazing gift God gave me!
I, finally, learned to let go and let God take control.
During this last pregnancy, I was hospitalized again. I, just, gave it to God. A week before finals, I was released. I was able to complete my classes and graduate!
I decided, shortly after my daughter was born, that I would go for my Master's degree.
It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I, often, tell my husband that I am done with school.
But, I know this is all a part of God's perfect plan.
If you give your cares, worries, and burdens to Him. He will take care of you!
Honestly, I do not know how I do it.
And...most days...I don't do a very good job. I have piles of laundry and dishes, I turn in assignments late, and I'm exhausted at work.
But, it always turns out ok.
I trust in Him.
I trust He knows what He is doing.
And...I give it ALL to Him.
That is how I do it...
HE does it!
This was almost 3 months later.
I was certain he had probably forgotten about me.
My friend suggested that she would call his friend up to see if he was available.
Well, to my surprise, he remembered me. A few hours later, I was getting a call...and it was him! I was so nervous and excited. We talked for a little while on the phone, and, then, he asked if I had plans that night. We, agreed, that he would come pick me up and we would do dinner and a movie.
It was, absolutely, the best last first date I ever had! We had so much in common! It was so comfortable. I felt like we had known each other for years.
If you haven't guessed it already, that man I met at the friend's birthday party became my husband.
I, completely, fell head over heels in love.
I went from being the fun girl, who had no desire to be married, to a bride and mother within a matter of a couple years.
It's amazing how your plans may be different than God's plans. But, God's plans are always better.
During that time of engagement, marriage, and being a new mom, I continued to pursue finishing school.
It was taking me longer than I had planned, and this was frustrating for me.
When I got pregnant with my first son, I had to drop out of school. I was put on bed rest, because of early labor problems.
After he turned one, I went back to school. I was finishing up my junior year, when I became pregnant with my second son. I became severely ill during that pregnancy, and was hospitalized. Again, I had to drop from school.
I remember, during this time, being so ashamed of myself. I felt like I had failed.
Here I am pushing 30.
a husband...2 kids.
Still no career.
I'm a failure.
I remember one day crying to God. I was so embarrassed. I was working as a server with 2 kids. To me, this was shameful. I was not, at all, where I thought I would be in my life.
I decided to go back to school.
I was heading towards the end of my senior year.
I was, finally, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I made the Dean's list.
I was chosen as the Who's Who of American College Students.
I was nominated in my department as a student, who had overcome great odds to graduate, and they were going to honor me at graduation.
Finally, things were coming together.
Around this time, I became pregnant again.
Honestly, I was upset.
I was about to graduate in a couple of months.
I did not want this holding me back.
That's when God really spoke to my heart.
He showed me how this was all His plan. I was, exactly, where He wanted me to be.
God knew how important staying at home with my kids would be.
By working a part time job, I was able to spend time with my little ones that I will never be able to get back.
I experienced their first steps, their first words, their first days at school. What an amazing gift God gave me!
I, finally, learned to let go and let God take control.
During this last pregnancy, I was hospitalized again. I, just, gave it to God. A week before finals, I was released. I was able to complete my classes and graduate!
I decided, shortly after my daughter was born, that I would go for my Master's degree.
It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I, often, tell my husband that I am done with school.
But, I know this is all a part of God's perfect plan.
If you give your cares, worries, and burdens to Him. He will take care of you!
Honestly, I do not know how I do it.
And...most days...I don't do a very good job. I have piles of laundry and dishes, I turn in assignments late, and I'm exhausted at work.
But, it always turns out ok.
I trust in Him.
I trust He knows what He is doing.
And...I give it ALL to Him.
That is how I do it...
HE does it!
