I guess it may seem strange, but one of my favorite hobbies is story-telling. Well, maybe a hobby isn't the best term to use...maybe a pastime of sorts is a better term. Whatever it is...I love to tell a good story. And, even if it's not a good story, I like to make it sound exciting. Lance says I over-exaggerate (he's a more "tell it like it is" person), but I say...I just like to focus on the details.
With that said...I am going to try my best, in this story, to be very candid and honest about Zoe's birth. I want those, who read this story, to understand the sacrifice and beauty of birth. It is not meant to scare anyone. I am telling it for two reasons: (1) I want Zoe to know how much I love her, how much she means to us, and what it took to bring her into this world (2) I want to empower women. I want women to realize how amazing their bodies are...how strong our minds are...and how great and merciful God is.
**If you are pregnant, I would not suggest reading this story. Stories like these would make me fearful, when I was pregnant.**
After the 30 minute drive to the hospital, we finally arrived at midnight. Parking was difficult to find, so Lance dropped me in the front. Contractions were now about 5-7 minutes apart and stronger than I had ever experienced. I have no idea why, but my hospital has stairs going up to the front door, to be checked in. I remember looking at those stairs like they were Mt. Rushmore. There was no way I was going to be able to get up there. I could have went around to the handicap ramp, but that too seemed traitorous. I contemplated waiting for Lance, but, who knew how long that would take. I remember telling myself...Jenna, you have to get up these stairs. I pulled myself up the first couple, until the contractions started coming in full force. I could tell they were closer together and stronger. My memory is vague, but I remember people passing me on the stairs. It is sad now to think about it. They just stared at me and passed me by. What if I was really by myself? Nobody even offered to help me up those stairs. It probably took me about 10 minutes to get up those stairs and into the elevator. When I, finally, got to the front desk to check in, Lance had caught up with me (bags in tow). I have no memory of what I said to the triage nurse, but I'm sure she saw the pain in my face. They immediately got me a bed and some clothes to change into. (It was now about 12:30)
Once I got hooked onto the monitors, my contractions were off the charts and about 2-3 minutes apart. The nurse kept telling me to breathe through the contractions. I really wanted to tell her to shut-up, but the pain was so intense, that I couldn't form any words. The doctor came in and checked me. She said I was 4cm, so they would be keeping me. She ordered my epidural and the nurses drew some blood. At this point, Lance asked me if he should call my parents. I told him I wasn't sure, because I was only at a 4. We both knew my labors were long, and we didn't want people to be waiting for hours. Contractions continued to get worse, so Lance went ahead and called my parents.
At about 1am, they had a room ready for us. They asked me, if I could walk over there. I said sure. Lance grabbed our stuff and followed the nurse. Another nurse walked with me. The room was literally around the corner, but it took me about 10 min to get there. Contractions were about 1 minute apart. I know this because, I had no time between contractions to rest. I remember during one contraction in the hallway I put my head on the nurses station and just moaned and rocked. The nurse at the desk ask the nurse walking with me how far along was I. My nurse told her...4cm about 1/2 hour ago. All I remember the nurse saying is...no way...she looks like she's about to have that baby. By the time I got to the bed, I was begging my nurse for the epidural. She said they were still waiting on labs, but it would be here shortly. I must have transitioned at this point, because the pain was unbearable. My contractions were right on top of each other. I kept telling the nurse I had to pee. she said...do you have to push or pee? I said pee and she said it's probably the pressure on my bladder. I started tossing and turning. The nurse was trying her best to calm me. But, I could not remain calm. The pain was excruciating. The next thing I know, I jumped out of the bed. The nurse very calmly helped me get back in bed, and reassured me my epidural was coming. I looked over at her and saw her calling the doctor. She must have been nervous, because I could hear her saying...you need to get over here now. The doctor was there in about 30 seconds with 2 other people. I remember her calling my name, telling me to breathe, and checking me. I was now 5cm. By this point, I was in desperation. Soon, my mom walked in and told me she was there. Finally, my knight in shinning armor arrived, just in time, with his epidural cart. I could not have been more happy to see anyone in my life. They asked everyone to leave the room. Lance went down the hall to use the restroom, my mom told my dad I was getting the epidural and if he could go grab her a bite to eat.
As the team prepped me, I became completely panicked. My contractions were right on top of each other and the pain was so intense that I could not remain still. I cried to the nurse...I don't know how I'm going to do this. I'm getting no break between contractions. You're going to have to she said. She sat me up and leaned me over a pillow. The anesthesiologist took one look ay me and said...I don't know if I can do this. She seems like she's much farther along than a 5. Can someone please check her before I attempt to do this? A doctor came in to check me. After two tries, she could not find my cervix. They called in another doctor. She checked me. Jenna...she said...you are 8cm. The baby's head is right here and your bag is bulging. I can break your bag and you can have this baby right now or you can try for the epidural. I could not even fathom, in my mind, doing this without an epidural. The thought of not having that option never entered my mind. So, I said...I need the epidural. The doctor said ok. She got off the bed and I moved to sit up and get the epidural (2:00am). As soon as I moved...
S P L A S H...
My water broke. All I can recall is people running in the room. And, there, out of the corner of my eye, my knight in shinning armor ran out the door...
...to be continued.
